I spend a fair amount of time in coffee shops around Portland. Each weekend morning, my partner and I pick a coffee shop and we kill a few hours. These are spots we have vetted and enjoy so the stakes are low. I have noticed the following human behavior; no one wants to share a table with strangers. I have a possible solution to this dilemma. I call it the “Welcome Table Tent”. It’s just a piece of paper, folded length-wise into a tent. The sign says, “Seat Open” or “Table Available.” Basically you are saying, we are using this half of the table and if you want to sit down and use the other part of the table, please do.
On these rare occasions when someone initiates a verbal conversation; usually with the familiar, “can I ask you a question?” I am excited to halt what I am doing and engage in an answer. Ultimately, I do my best to provide an accurate answer and then I hit them with a question of my own; try to keep the momentum going. The article points out that fear of rejection or overstepping keeps most of us from starting a conversation at all.
Talking to strangers, much less sitting with them, is an exercise I used to leave to my mother. She would talk to anyone, about anything. She did it with confidence and when I questioned her motive, I was met with the same response, “who cares, we’ll never see them again.” She was right, I don’t think we ever spoke to the same person twice. There is the possibility that these strangers remembered my mother and thus avoided her at future passings, but let’s assume that was not the case.
Do I have any new best friends from these interactions? No. Have I had a few interesting conversations? HELL YEAH! I would like to invite you to sit with a stranger the next time you are in a crowded coffee shop. Or feel free to make your own Welcome Table Tent and display it proudly the next time you have a seat open.
This is a reaction to the following article: The stranger secret: how to talk to anyone – and why you should
Michael Montez 